Arena Notes | Week 6
I expected to be outside my comfort zone and I got that in spades, probably more than I expected. For the first couple of weeks of the season, I had trouble falling asleep after games because I re-hash all the things I got wrong. They weren't big things, but it was uncomfortable not getting things right. It's better now and I don't have any trouble sleeping.
The experience has been simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar.
In my work life, I’m a woman POC in technology and I lead teams. I’ve always had to deal with unconscious bias and being the “only” in the room. That experience has served me well. I’m the only woman coach in our division. I haven’t met any other women coaches.
Being a coach who doesn't play hockey is a lot like being a mid-level manager who doesn't have the skill to be an individual contributor. It's not so different from being a mid-level manager. I have to over-communicate with my peers to build relationships and present a vision for the team. My assistant coaches didn't know what to make of me at first. They didn’t have any template for someone like me, so they didn’t know which way to jump. I hope they're used to me now. I ask a lot of questions. I try get their input, though they don’t have a lot to say.
What has been unfamiliar are the practices and the kids.
During the on-ice practices, some of the coaches have been lovely and gave me things to do. Other times, I wander around aimlessly. I feel like I'm most helpful in trying to get things to go smoothly. I collect up pucks. I visit different drill stations and provide small bits of encouragement.
The kids are like space aliens to me. Although, one of them is my son, I feel like I don’t have a good mental model for their hearts and heads. When I talk to them on the ice, they give me strange looks. It’s like they’re here for the hockey, not chit chat. Most kids follow my instructions, because I’m an adult and they’ve been programmed to do that. A few of the select players don’t really respect me. They are slow to follow instructions and don’t make eye contact with me when I’m talking to them. I still need to win them over.
Whatever the struggles on my part, the team has a record of 4-1-1. The team will continue to be happy for as long as we’re winning. I don’t know how viable this is as a long term strategy, but that’s where we are in week 6.